I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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