I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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