woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
