Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize