i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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