last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
