i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
