I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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