don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
