I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
