Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize