How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
