just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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