before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
