its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
