We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
