Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
