Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
