I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
