If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She said her name was "party"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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