Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
