i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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