Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
