Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
