But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
