Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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