I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
