my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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