I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There's always time for handjobs
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
