i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
