Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
