i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
