It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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