Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
