Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
