I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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