haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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