tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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