this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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