Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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