I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Everyone says I win the strip club
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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