I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
