I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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