Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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