My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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