omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You smell like stripper and shame
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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