My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
