i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
