Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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