just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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