My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
