The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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