..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
