i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We just shotgunned beers for America
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
