Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
