He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
