Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
