Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
