worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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