i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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