Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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