Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
