God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
