You just made me feel so damn special
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
