Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
